THE MYTH OF WOMAN
The Myth of Woman takes many forms, but they all exhibit the same pattern: an unrealistic exaggeration of the nature or status of these normal human people.
There’s a certain lore about women. It’s a lore that’s probably rooted in men’s desire to avoid the pitfalls of another extreme. It’s a lore that stems from men’s failure to respond fiercely to the emasculating rise of the bad kind of feminism. It’s a lore that’s rooted in a truth, but it’s been taken to mythical – and annoying – extremes.
The Myth of Woman takes many forms, but they all exhibit the same pattern: an unrealistic exaggeration of the nature or status of these normal human people:
– Women are angels.
– Women are princesses.
– Women are goddesses.
The most prevalent and embarrassing form or variant is the oft repeated:
I married up
“I don’t know what she was thinking, but she said ‘Yes.’!” “Wow, she must be blind.” “How’d I get so lucky?” “She’s a saint.”
The list goes on and on, but the pattern is the same. Men everywhere engage in conversation where their women are elevated to absurd heights.
But are they?
Is it a compliment to a woman to say, in essence, “You have very poor judgment” or “You have questionable taste in men”? A woman isn’t made more valuable simply because we pretend we’re less valuable. Contrast isn’t necessarily a compliment.
All you’re really doing is undermining both parties in the relationship. And since it’s demonstrably untrue that women are either angels or goddesses, and only a very few women are actual princesses, maybe you should find more appropriate ways to praise your spouse.
Perhaps you’re just completely overwhelmed by your love for your wife. You’re thankful for God’s goodness in providing you such a suitable partner. That’s a proper response. You should find yourself, from time to time, breathless at the sight of her.
But in those moments your instinct shouldn’t be to worship her, bow to her, or revere her as some celestial, supernatural being. And you certainly shouldn’t automatically default to insincere self-deprecation.
Here’s a few real life examples of how you can compliment your wife without pretending you’re the scum on the bottom of her shoes.
1. My wife is beautiful.
2. My wife is smart.
3. I trust my wife’s judgment.
4. My wife is an accomplished and successful woman.
5. My wife has a stellar sense of humor.
Rather than assuming your wives’ value is only found in relation to your lack of value, you can actually notice some wonderful things about HER, and use those true observations to praise her. You can compliment your extremely worthy wife while still recognizing your own dignity. It’s a very simple way you can start reclaiming the dignity of manhood.
And let’s be honest, this whole Myth of Woman is kind of bullshit. Most men who do this whole “I married up” thing don’t actually believe it.
Most men want to be good husbands. They try to – and quite often succeed – at bringing value to their marriage and improving their wife’s life. They view themselves as equal partners in a strong marriage. They love and respect their wives, and their wives love and respect them.