QUIT CRYING SO MUCH

The crying-man will be the villain in thousands of historical whodunits for the damage he’s done to society.

The Great Cry-Lie is the assertion by the enemies of gender that there needn’t be any distinction between the way men and women process and express emotion. In fact, the more a man cries the more celebrated he is. Gone are the days of the stoic warrior with the stiff upper lip.

When men bought into the cry-lie, the battle for the uniqueness of the sexes was lost. The fabric of society got soggy (from all the tears) and began to disintegrate. Long gone are the masses of hell or high water men. Males now are too busy crying to accomplish anything. The crying-man will be the villain in thousands of historical whodunits for the damage he’s done to society.

Why should men suck it up and keep a stiff upper lip? Here’s a couple reasons:

You can’t teach your son to be a man if you’re crying like a little girl. 

It’s ridiculous to argue that a man should never cry. But a man should cry purposefully. As our sons watch us master our emotions, they learn important lessons. And when we do cry, it should serve as a marker for our sons. It should be a bright, flashing light that screams, This matters! This is significant!”

How can we expect boys to walk the path to centered, focused manhood with proper priorities and perspective when their chief role models didn’t leave any significant markers along the way? Those times when a father’s natural strength is overwhelmed – are among the most significant lessons a boy will learn about manhood.

Seeing a father’s deepest passion or rawest vulnerability creates an indelible mark on a son’s soul. It’s becomes, for him, much of the definition of his own manhood. …Unless, of course, his father can’t watch a Hallmark commercial without weeping.

You can’t comfort your wife if you’re blubbering inconsolably.

Once upon a time, women had the option of a strong and steady husband to provide a safe place to weather life’s storms, of a concerned but controlled husband to help bear her burdens. Now, at best, they share a bed with a fellow sufferer. There’s some comfort in that, certainly. We should support our wives in times of emotional turmoil.

But men were created to lead, protect and defend. That’s not possible when we’re fixated on our own feelings. The man’s calling is strength in the face of trials so that those we love can safely express their weakness. Our wives and children should know that they can hide themselves against us and be secure. But if we’re doubled over indulging our own grief, we’re not in a position to support them. It’s an act of sacrificial love to deny or delay indulgence of your emotions to provide a steady, calming influence.

Don’t be a stone. But don’t be a pansy either.

Men do need to cry; it’s part of the human experience. But we’ve strayed too far in the opposite direction. In being true to ourselves, we ended up being true only to ourselves. We became indulgent and weak  – useless. We must deny ourselves for the good of those who depend on us. 

Yes, there ought to be no pretense between husband and wife. And our children need to see us model the full range of emotions. But that’s not all we’re called to model. We must also model strength and dignity and the duty to care for and defend others first.

This is manlier than abandoning our post to go “have a cry.” Quit Crying so much.