There are countless men whose day to day lives are ruled by the cripplingly stupid notion that there’s no difference between men and women, and your wife knows more about how to live in this gender neutral reality than you ever will.
Let’s cut the crap and cut to the chase:
Men, if your wife agrees with, approves of, is comfortable with, and delighted by all your decisions, actions or opinions then you’re doing manhood wrong.
Do you ask permission? Clear every opinion with your wife? You’re doing manhood wrong. Do you freeze and fall back every time she tells you to be careful? You’re doing manhood wrong. Has your wife never been challenged to deal with the discomfort of accepting a decision she doesn’t like? You’re doing manhood wrong.
Part of the problem lies in a misunderstanding of respect. In our feminized culture, it’s disrespectful for a man to disagree with – or defy the wishes of – or hurt the feelings of – his woman. Husbands and wives, due to their vastly different, God-intended natures, are supposed to experience tension from time to time.
Good principles like “don’t be disrespectful” are useless when words don’t carry proper meanings. A husband can no longer express appreciation for his wife’s concerns or feelings while still deciding to act contrary to them.
But in reality, telling your wife that you’re not going to adhere to her every suggestion doesn’t make you a bad husband. It’s the only way to be a good husband. We need more men who refuse to do what they’re told.
Men who do what they’re told:
– don’t do dangerous things. A man who never does dangerous things never answers the voice accusing him of not having what it takes. He also doesn’t accomplish very much, and that’s an even bigger problem.
– don’t fulfill their role in bringing a God-intended balance to a relationship. Husbands need to recognize that their wildness was meant to bring balance to the gentler nature of their spouse. Safety versus risk. Gentleness versus aggression. Words versus Actions. Both are beautiful. Both working together, balanced and in harmony – that’s amazing.
– don’t teach their sons to be men. Fathers are supposed to pass down the legacy of manhood – the masculine imagination – to their sons: the fascination with aggression, the mastery of violence, the thirst for adventure, the stubbornness in the face of fear, the desire to risk. It’s wrong for a father not to expose his sons to hardship and leave them unskilled in the manly arts.
– don’t set the bar very high for their daughters either. She’ll come to understand the role of husband and father is one of subservience and duty. She’ll settle for less than she deserves when it’s her time to marry.
– don’t bring anything of any value to a relationship – and they certainly don’t possess the character that sends womanly chills down her spine. You’re about as attractive as a dirty diaper – which, essentially, is what you are: another child to look after.